THE SILVER LINING IN BUSH'S REALITY CLOUD

It is a shame that we live in a reality based society , Think how better it would be if we lived in Bush’s reality. Imagine everywhere we went people would be happy to see us. There would be signs with our name on them and people cheering our every word. There would never be a question you didn’t know was coming and dissenters would be quickly dealt with by the secret service even if they were wearing protect our civil liberties shirts(irony is not allowed). Reporters would never ask difficult or uncomfortable questions and would always put a positive spin on whatever happened. People would be jailed for a perceived threat , with little or no evidence, without rights such as due process . We need to be safe right? Don't forget 9/11 changed everything. Republicans who tear up democratic registration forms and disenfranchise black voters would be patriotic. They would assist democrats on incorruptible electronic voting machines. It would save time if we just ceded our vote in order to give the republicans more time to run the country like a business i.e. Enron. Plus the Supreme Court needs to spend its time protecting corporate rights not selecting presidents.

Wouldn’t it be nice to never have to take responsibility for our own actions. Bush is a master at this. The economy is Clinton’s and 9/11's fault. Not enough body armor, that Kerry’s fault. Bush asked his generals before the war if they had everything they needed they said yes and that was enough. Abu Ghraib. Low-level reservists fault. His administration is never wrong either with the exception of George Tenet. In Bush’s reality he has the ability to change facts. The reasons for war went from WMD’s and links to Al-Qaeda to freeing the Iraqi people. Most of us couldn’t pull off that kind of reversal but it was easy for our president. Even though 18 months ago there wasn’t a link between Iraq and Al-Qaeda there is allegedly one now. Wasn’t it nice of the Iraqi people to help our president this way? Remember in 2000 when Bush agreed that Social Security should be kept in a locked box. Now Bush’s instincts are tell him to change SS into private accounts to be placed in the stock market. We all know that the stock market only goes in one direction(up) and is much safer than the current system. Bush wants to speculate with America’s future(other peoples money) just like he did before he became a politician. And we all know how well that went. No worries there.

Since our president relies on his instincts think of how much money we could save on things like war planning, intelligence and accountants that examine the economy. If we got rid of the FBI we wouldn’t have to worry about 100,000 hours of tape gathering dust that might include details of the next terrorist attack. The outing of undercover agent of Valerie Plame demonstrates us how obsolete an agency the CIA is. See the money for the tax cuts is there, you just need to know where to look. Those people who lost jobs could become debt collectors, repo men, foreclosure specialists and bankruptcy lawyers. Other Americans that lost their jobs could go to India, Mexico or China because there are plenty of American jobs there. It would be a boom to the travel industry. Think of outsourcing not as a bad thing but as an extended vacation. Or a way to fulfill a life long dream to work in the fast food industry. With all of those wave of the future tech jobs gone think of the money saved from eye strain and ergonomic injuries. Less doctors visits so there isn’t a need to get everyone healthcare. Since Bush doesn’t provide the military with the proper equipment and we seem to be in perpetual war(on terror) the military (with over 700 bases all around the world) is always hiring. Since Bush doesn’t believe in science we could save all that grant money that goes to research. Stems cells are history. No science means no science students so we will need less money for college students and less students for college mean his under funding of No Child Left Behind and Head Start is aligned with what he sees for our future. Plus you don’t need a degree to say “Do you want fires with that”or “Welcome to Walmart”. See America, it is already coming together. What about the EPA? Since our President only wants what’s best for America, dirtier air and water must be good for us. Think of how much money our president is saving us by not having all those pesky inspections for those who pollute our environment. Those people with asthma need to slow down and take it easy. And we all know that Bush doesn’t believe in that global warming mumbo jumbo( never mind those 4 hurricanes that hit florida this year, that was just a fluke.) He thinks about the police forces in this country. Since he cut their funding there will be less police officers to be hit by bullets from those newly reintroduced assault rifles. He is saving lives right and left. We could save so much money that the rich wouldn’t have to pay taxes at all. Then they can live safely in their gated communities protected by assault rifles and count their money while never contributing to society except for the occasional Forbes article.

Thinking about it makes me so optimistic of what another four years of a George Bush would do to our country. This is what our president wants for us. Compassionate conservatism, more tax cuts, less trees, nation building, changing Islamic people into our image, record deficits, health savings accounts, and Social Security tied to the stock market. Alas, we have to live in reality. To sleep perchance to dream, ay there’s the rub.